I gave birth to a Tonka Truck. Born at 9 lbs. 8 oz., he qualified as a turkey from birth. During his toddler years, he led with his head, a tendency that caused him to earn quite a few bruises and the loss of his two front teeth. As he’s grown, he’s gained stability, speed and a love for the rough-and-tumble. Although DNA is undoubtedly responsible for his love for sports, particularly running, nurture also had a hand here. My husband played all the major sports. Passing his knowledge on to our son is a natural segue.
Quite often, the boys will play a game called “Tiger and Bear” on the bed. It is, as you likely surmised, a wrestling game. I choose to stay out of the room during this game because the wrestling tactics they each use make me cringe. All too often, I’ve heard a “thwack” and an “oof” coming from the bedroom. I don’t go in because those noises are often followed by peels of laugher from both of them. Beyond the laughter and assorted noises, I often hear the following from my husband: “You are stuck.” When this situation arises, my husband will coach our son, specifically telling him how he can get himself out of the hold that has him trapped.
Sometimes, we use the phrase “I am stuck” to describe how we feel about a situation, or a job or a relationship. Although no physical impediment exists to our ability to move, something else prohibits our freedom of movement. Essentially, we construct a mental block that precludes action.
Some of you may read this and say in response, “But I really am stuck. I can’t…[you fill in the blank].
If you find yourself in this situation, if you find yourself saying “I can’t,” or “That isn’t possible because…”, take a few steps back, figuratively, and look carefully at the scenario in which you feel stuck. Are you really stuck, or are you choosing to say you are stuck because you do not like the alternatives? Yes, I mean those difficult options that require work. If you’ve found yourself saying these words, then review your options. Don’t trade your happiness, don’t trade your mental health, and never give up on yourself.
Every situation has a solution. Being stuck is a choice. Taking the steps to change that thought process, to change your position, to change how you feel, is tough and rewarding.
Next time you hear yourself say “I feel stuck,” take a breath, refocus, reevaluate your situation and consider how you can address the challenge before you.
You can, and when you are ready, you will.